Answers to My Lies (and Truth)

The truth. And nothing but the truth. Diane forced me to lie (yes, I am going to keep blaming her. I didn’t say I wasn’t going to blame. I’m just not going to lie anymore. At least not in this post.), and now I will tell you all the truth.

I was going to just add this to the last post, but it was already way too long. By the way, have you made the Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free Thin Mint Cookies yet? We are on our second batch. And it won’t be our last.

On to the truth about me.

1. LIE – I have set foot in all 50 states. Some only by a layover at the airport.

I have only set foot in about half of the states. Mostly by driving through on our way to move to the East Coast or in an airport.

2. TRUTH – I am related to one of Americaโ€™s most famous writers.

I am related to Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens). My father’s, father’s, father was first cousins with Mark Twain’s mother. (I hope I got that right.) He’s my 5th cousin. I know that part is right.

3. LIE – I was captain of my high school soccer team.

Dude! I so suck at sports. I am not coordinated, and I throw like a girl. My mom tried to get me in little league because she had always wanted to play and couldn’t. She finally gave up when I walked off the field during a game. But, my best friend in high school was on the soccer team. I don’t think that counts, though.

4. LIE – I am addicted to the โ€œTwilightโ€ series books.

I actually can’t stand the Twilight series. Sorry to any of you that like it, but I think it is awful. I like a good vampire story as much as the next one, but not my cup of tea. And it’s not the fantasy thing because I love the Harry Potter books.

5. LIE – I have more tattoos than my mother.

I only have two tattoos. One that I planned for 3 years that is on my right ankle. A rose with an eighth note. I used to be a music major and had a dream of being an opera singer. Found out I had TMJ issues, so that was over. The other one is one of those I-wish-I-didn’t-get-it-because-I-wasn’t-really-thinking-at-the-time tattoos. I’m going to get my son’s initials around it to claim it back. My mom has 10 or 11 tattoos. I don’t remember what it was at last count. She even has her eyeliner tattooed on. She got her first one in the 70s, before it was all popular. She’s not all biker-chick tattooed. In fact, most of them you can’t see unless she is wearing a bathing suit. (Or less.) My first tattoo was a birthday present from her.

So, that’s it. That’s the truth about me. Not too exciting. Now, go make thin mint cookies!


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12 Responses to “Answers to My Lies (and Truth)”

  1. Whoop! Whoop! I was right?!?!?! I feel like I just got an A on a test that I never even studied for! So exciting!! And so very very cool that YOU are in direct relation to Mark Twain!! Love it.
    Btw, you can spell “Tia” from the letters in “Twain”. Not sure why i felt I should tell you that! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Glugle Gluten-Free

      Um, ok. I never thought of that. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Glad I could help you feel good about your intellect. That’s what friends are for, right? ๐Ÿ˜›

  2. Cool connection to Mark Twain Tia! I am envious. I love the tattoo story the best! I would LOVE to meet your Mom. I have one tattoo on my foot. I think that’s where it stops for me. We’ll see…

    • Glugle Gluten-Free

      Thanks, Maggie. But the only thing I get to do with it is say so. But then I feel like I’m trying to name-drop. So, I totally used this post to do that. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Yeah, Mom’s crazy for the tattoos. I’ve lost count. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. Very cool, Tia. My favorite Twain quote (paraphased) is “if you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you said.” ๐Ÿ™‚ I didn’t know you sucked at sports!! But you curl!??


    • Glugle Gluten-Free

      I like that quote, too. And, of course, there’s always the one about not wanting to belong to any club that would have me as a member. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I think that one is funny.

      Curling isn’t really a sport, as in it doesn’t require throwing of objects farther than 3 feet. Sliding a rock on the ice is totally different. It is more of a finesse sport. I can do finesse. ๐Ÿ˜›

  4. nicola @ gfreemom

    Oo. I can now add to my stories that I like to tell the fact that I know a relative of Mark Twain. Cool!!!! I’m with Shirley – how can you suck at sports when you are so good at curling???? xo

    • Glugle Gluten-Free

      As I told Shirley, curling isnโ€™t really a sport, as in it doesnโ€™t require throwing of objects farther than 3 feet. Sliding a rock on the ice is totally different. It is more of a finesse sport. I can do finesse. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Glugle Gluten-Free

      Makes sense?

      BTW, what is a KA tattoo? I’ve wanted to ask that, but I thought it would give it away.

  5. Woo Hoo I was right! Like Kim I feel like I just got an A on a test or something. That is SOOOOOO freaking cool. Your mom gave you a tattoo for your birthday? Boy did you have a different kind of mom than I did. How cool is that? If fact I think you just exude cool. xo