Well, this post has nothing to do with food. It is all about me having to express my emotions. It’s something that every parent goes through but especially every mom. My baby’s first steps into the outside world and away from me. You see, even though the Little Man is not quite two years-old, he is leaving me. For three half-days a week.
It was our idea, I know. He needs to learn how to be around other kids. At the park lately, he gets about an inch or two away from other kids and just stares at them. It kinda freaks the other kids out. Fun, yet not good.
So, we found a great Montessori preschool daycare across town. He really likes it there, and we really like the woman who runs it. The Little Man and I have been going on visits, so he can get comfortable. Yesterday, I sat in a large porch swing that was placed in the play yard. The Little Man was running around, but he would check to make sure I was there. Today, he ran into the play yard ahead of me and never looked back. I sat in a chair near the gate. He never cared. At clean up time, he noticed I was around the corner. But that was only because he followed a couple of other kids and happened to see me. Then, I went into another part of the building when all of the kids came in for ‘circle.’ Still never noticed I wasn’t around. He only cared after he saw the other moms outside the sliding glass door, and the other kids were yelling, “Mommy! Mommy!” Then he didn’t see me right away and began to cry. That was it.
I know this is going to be much harder on me than it will be on him. Intellectually, I KNOW that. I know that this is good for him. And it’s a good thing that he is learning to be independent of me, even if it is in baby steps. I KNOW that. It just sucks!
That’s all I can muster today. I am going to go wallow in my my-son-doesn’t-need-me-anymore self-pity.
Until later, here’s to…Living better, easily!™